the_last_podcast_on_the_leftfandomcom-20200215-history
Episode 5: Sightings/Transcript
00:00 ::I can hand you the fuck out of here man 00:03 ::what's up that spice don't I what am i 00:13 ::you are my you're a robot Wow but no why 00:17 ::could I could be considered a robot 00:20 ::gladly welcome to West without gas on 00:23 ::the left the spookiest podcast you're 00:25 ::ever gonna listen to with this as always 00:27 ::we've gas Braca 00:29 ::it reminds me hey it's my birthday today 00:32 ::happy birthday every birthday and May 1st 00:34 ::and of course we're recording this 00:36 ::the skinniest one in the room 00:39 ::Marcus parks how you doing Mars bars at 00:42 ::a big gala nice one in this room I'm the 00:44 ::skinniest one in the round table yeah 00:46 ::that's sure definitely yeah this this 00:49 ::one and round table and pretty much 00:51 ::every podcast second hey Marcus isn't 00:53 ::really that skinny he's kind of got a 00:55 ::bit of a guns on him but where's a gun 00:58 ::it is a gut cock if you're talking about 01:00 ::a man Oh doc doc I'm not sound like a 01:05 ::fan or get China yeah it's a gut in a 01:08 ::cunt 01:09 ::ah guns again I better give me that gun 01:11 ::speaking of crazy gun looking is things 01:15 ::and whatnot we're talking like UFOs 01:17 ::today yeah the very very special special 01:22 ::conversation this is a thing ladies and 01:24 ::gentlemen that today you you opened up 01:27 ::this document that is now our you know 01:30 ::our part cast don't know you've 01:32 ::downloaded our podcast or listening to 01:33 ::it you're loving it you got to know that 01:36 ::you're gonna be probably put on some 01:37 ::sort of list by the government yeah 01:40 ::government because today we are going to 01:43 ::get to the bottom of the UFO story we're 01:48 ::gonna crack this code ladies and we're 01:49 ::getting in there we're proving that 01:51 ::aliens exist yeah and your lives are in 01:55 ::danger I'd really like to know if there 01:57 ::was anyone who seriously whenever you 01:58 ::said you're going to be put on some kind 02:00 ::of list they just throw their iPod 02:01 ::together Roma Gabba no no the listeners 02:05 ::of this podcast you're on so many lists 02:07 ::it's just a yeah route if you were 02:09 ::already downloading this in your 02:11 ::and you're disgusting you're flawed a 02:13 ::lien mythology has been around for 02:15 ::pretty much ever right yeah and every 02:18 ::culture has some sort of reference to 02:21 ::either like large-eyed beings it's like 02:24 ::you come from the sky in flaming cigars 02:27 ::and all various they're sort of Native 02:29 ::American jibber jabber about aliens they 02:32 ::can't really describe it but everybody 02:34 ::seems to have something of things coming 02:35 ::from the sky and helping them with like 02:38 ::building sort like the pyramids in 02:40 ::Mexico 02:40 ::maybe the pyramids in Mexico yeah there 02:43 ::are parents and pyramids in I did not 02:45 ::know they're good to go yeah and so 02:47 ::people just assume that these Mexican 02:48 ::pyramids must have been made by aliens 02:50 ::because they don't believe the Mexican 02:51 ::people are capable of such unbelievable 02:53 ::architecture well absolutely when you've 02:55 ::got tortillas as far as the eye can see 02:57 ::right how can you imagine you'd be able 02:59 ::to focus on building a pyramid oh yeah 03:02 ::here they are these are the chicken 03:04 ::it'sa chicken eats us chicken Itza yeah 03:08 ::that's what they're called 03:08 ::sheesh Anita I think I think she said 03:10 ::she chanita if there's anyone out there 03:12 ::Mayan who's listening to this podcast if 03:15 ::you are please help us with the proper 03:17 ::pronunciation absolutely no mines left 03:19 ::she should need sir 03:20 ::Zapata got the Mexican pyramids here and 03:25 ::then of course you have your Egyptian 03:26 ::pyramids and no one could believe the 03:28 ::man could make that when in fact we know 03:30 ::for a fact men did make that through 03:32 ::slave labor so really a slave labor hey 03:34 ::that's an unidentified sad object will 03:38 ::really say they also say they like the 03:41 ::the Bible story of the Tower of Babel 03:43 ::could be connected to an alien encounter 03:46 ::which was a sort of if you believe 03:50 ::there's many schools of thought said 03:51 ::like Zacharias Sitchin right so 03:54 ::basically all these sort of 03:56 ::quote-unquote non-fiction books about 03:58 ::what's-his-name 03:59 ::zecharia sitchin oh he sounds like an 04:01 ::alien he's Amish I think would you see 04:03 ::he gets time to think 04:04 ::riah yes Zechariah will you please tend 04:08 ::to the goats idol must think everybody's 04:10 ::an alien absolutely driving their Ford 04:12 ::Taurus does that interview with buttons 04:13 ::yeah anybody using a blender to make a 04:16 ::daiquiri which is what it's a daiquiri 04:18 ::what sad a guy I know they came up they 04:20 ::had two lights when they came in their 04:21 ::intricate some sort of soft 04:23 ::beverage it wasn't liquid but it wasn't 04:24 ::a hard but no Zecharia Sitchin wrote 04:28 ::about how human beings are the result of 04:31 ::a program of a far far greater 04:34 ::intelligence than us planning us here 04:36 ::and that there's also sort of a belief 04:39 ::that aliens have messed with human DNA 04:41 ::nor to help along evolution that they've 04:43 ::helped us with technology and sort of if 04:46 ::you believe anything that came out of 04:47 ::the Roswell incident there's a lot of 04:49 ::people who believe according to it was a 04:51 ::book written called the day after 04:52 ::Roswell by Gregory Corso which is he 04:55 ::talks about how wireless internet I 04:58 ::heard about that was retroactive Lee 04:59 ::built out of what crashed at Roswell 05:02 ::which is fantastic but is it real yes I 05:06 ::mean it is yes I mean every real yeah 05:08 ::every single question whenever you're 05:10 ::gonna ask is it real the answers yes of 05:12 ::course so of course they give us the 05:13 ::wireless internet and that's also where 05:16 ::we figured out the love of tentacle porn 05:18 ::yes that's a very a UFO type kind of 05:23 ::smut they they come with all of their 05:26 ::eight dicks to it which is pretty pretty 05:28 ::fantastic yes the et porn no it's a 05:32 ::woman with this big ET mask on it that 05:35 ::very it got very realistic very real is 05:38 ::her clitoris she's all she's all kind of 05:41 ::brown and saggy and just a bunch of 05:45 ::dudes fuck et it is good money for 05:47 ::someone like that 05:48 ::there's just no reason and that's just 05:49 ::not good alien research no that is 05:53 ::slapdash sort of scientists over there 05:56 ::know an area 69 was a so that what 06:00 ::happened at area 51 edwards air air Air 06:03 ::Force Base Air Force Base Air Force Base 06:07 ::that's a good that's a good vocal warmup 06:09 ::Air Force Base it happened at uh Owen 06:11 ::all Chiquitita most recently it happened 06:14 ::at the homie the airport so that's the 06:16 ::thing but you see those people what 06:18 ::about the next her today was that next 06:19 ::sort of the homie don't play that 06:20 ::Municipal Building and playground ah I 06:23 ::don't get it fuck yeah well of course 06:27 ::we're always loving in color living in 06:29 ::living a living in color living in color 06:33 ::in living color why am i rich 06:36 ::that's why you're retarded cuz you're 06:38 ::completely to know what it is dead today 06:40 ::you're pretty soon yeah it's like how 06:42 ::like supersonic jets can only operate 06:44 ::properly when they're flying at sonic 06:46 ::speed I mean cuz it makes all the 06:48 ::fuselage come together you just have to 06:50 ::be real drunk in order to be funny I 06:52 ::gotta get this cocaine brain change the 06:55 ::whole thing 06:55 ::um alright so so there's still a lot of 06:58 ::people out there hanging out with area 06:59 51 but I think the aliens are probably 07:01 ::done with that space there's probably 07:03 ::nothing else going on the only thing 07:04 ::that I understand is so there's a lot of 07:06 ::talk or let's say something landed at 07:08 ::Roswell and they they have it at area 51 07:11 ::I was watching a documentary a 07:13 ::documentary that was called area 51 07:16 ::recently they're talking to how area 51 07:19 ::is pretty much genuinely a Air Force 07:23 ::Base that houses it's sort of it does 07:25 ::nuclear testing the valleys around it 07:27 ::where and then it does like testing of 07:29 ::super spy planes you know stuff that we 07:32 ::won't see but there's a place apparently 07:34 ::next area 51 called s4 which is a series 07:39 ::of hangars built in the mountains and 07:41 ::they have like all sort of topographical 07:43 ::like pictures of it from that Russia has 07:45 ::according to their files on us Russia 07:47 ::yeah from Russia and according to their 07:51 ::there is some sort of there there is a 07:53 ::place there that's holding a bunch of 07:55 ::aircraft the only an aircraft basically 07:57 ::the one the big crash in Roswell in 1947 08:01 ::and then there's another one in 1953 08:03 ::that happened I think in Seattle it was 08:06 ::there was something like that or there's 08:08 ::some other place what's it just landed 08:10 ::right on the Space Needle and it's just 08:12 ::hanging out he's just like right there 08:13 ::an age when Apple was a space but it was 08:15 ::a space that's pretty uh but so there's 08:18 ::according to area 51 they could quote a 08:21 ::guy named Rob Lazar who was a scientist 08:24 ::who came out of area 51 who was at 08:28 ::basically the first one to come out and 08:31 ::speak on anything he saw there and 08:33 ::according to him he worked at s4 which 08:36 ::is where the really secret shit happens 08:38 ::right and then he was brought into a 08:40 ::hangar walk onto a disc-shaped object 08:43 ::this huge like tiny like ooze like was 08:45 ::tiny on the inside but it was 08:47 ::massive on the outside you walked in and 08:49 ::it was there their job basically a bunch 08:52 ::of guys with guns pointing and him were 08:54 ::like you got to make this for us he's 08:58 ::like this is a thing look at it take it 09:00 ::apart 09:00 ::figure out how works and make one for us 09:03 ::and apparently two scientists had died 09:06 ::already 09:07 ::according to they try to hack open on 09:09 ::the inside they sort of like weird 09:12 ::nuclear reactor that sits in the center 09:14 ::of thing and popped it and it exploded 09:17 ::this huge facility on the like outskirts 09:20 ::of s4 and they just wrote it off as a 09:22 ::nuclear test Wow but that's all but then 09:25 ::a court but then they set out and a 09:27 ::completely discredited him like there 09:28 ::was like oh that here's what they said 09:30 ::about that how they discredited him the 09:32 ::critics say that is credibility crumbled 09:34 ::after schools he was supposed to have 09:36 ::attended had no record of him while 09:38 ::others in the scientific community had 09:39 ::no memory of ever meeting him almost 09:41 ::like they were erased their memories 09:43 ::were erased Tommy Lee Jones did it this 09:45 ::is big man we had 11 these men embark on 09:48 ::running around all the time race in our 09:49 ::memory something we gotta remember 09:50 ::that's right so they completely 09:53 ::discredited this guy but he stands by 09:54 ::his story of course you stayed in spy 09:56 ::story in interviews with him he fuckin 09:59 ::sounds like a scientist he looks like a 10:01 ::scientist he's like not a he doesn't 10:03 ::seem like a like a lunatic he's just 10:06 ::talking about stuff he it seems like he 10:08 ::obviously fuckin saw and it was his cool 10:10 ::but I mean then he says nutty shit like 10:13 ::it's a gravitational wave engine that's 10:17 ::supposed to like create a gravitational 10:19 ::gap in front of the the whatever the 10:22 ::ship is and what it does is the ship 10:25 ::then pulls towards gravity like it's 10:27 ::falling constantly which allows you to 10:30 ::travel past the speed of light and then 10:32 ::something about the gravitational space 10:35 ::shortens space and time so that as you 10:38 ::use it you're the object or going 10:40 ::towards gets shorter to you and faster 10:42 ::for you to go there I follow right I 10:44 ::don't know yeah 10:45 ::that's not but it's still but I mean I'm 10:46 ::bad at all invented I mean I just took 10:48 ::transair over to Wisconsin I want to I 10:51 ::want a UFO flight far much better 10:53 ::absolutely well I mean you won't get a 10:54 ::television I imagine it's gonna be hard 10:57 ::to pick up satellite in any sort of 10:59 ::Wi-Fi yeah 11:00 ::yeah that's true it seemed I mean I 11:02 ::don't know why it doesn't seem 11:03 ::impossible to America to make a flying 11:05 ::saucer we've got the helicopter which 11:06 ::pulls up from the land and then of 11:09 ::course the frisbee with a little frisbee 11:11 ::copter according to him it said that the 11:13 ::engine took an element that we don't 11:15 ::have and that so this is OK this is also 11:18 ::where it gets really stupid and daddy 11:21 ::and he said that there are nine 11:23 ::different discs yes and though they're 11:24 ::all different shapes and sizes according 11:27 ::them after according to him in 1953 when 11:30 ::this other ship happily the other crash 11:32 ::happened I forget where it was they it 11:35 ::wasn't a crash this thing landed and 11:38 ::essentially these aliens were like ah 11:40 ::hey hello like talk to us oh hey hi and 11:43 ::that they are from the binary star 11:47 ::cluster of Zeta Reticuli oh and that 11:49 ::they gave them a hundred pounds of this 11:53 ::element 150 element 115 is called uh 11:56 ::it's nicknamed ununpentium ununpentium 11:59 ::yeah what is it 12:01 ::I don't know so I mean so that is then 12:05 ::you're like okay okay so you you met an 12:08 ::alien you met and when they they 12:10 ::described as a three-foot-tall like grey 12:13 ::creature with big eyes and stuff oh no 12:16 ::he's on the Jersey Shore now they uh I 12:20 ::just don't know I just feel like what 12:23 ::the fuck you supposed to say how did how 12:24 ::do I believe you now because I want to 12:26 ::yeah because I want to see it myself if 12:28 ::I saw it and lose my shit I would be 12:31 ::like awesome and I quit everything yeah 12:33 ::and like what follow them around seemed 12:36 ::very squishy to me they are all squishy 12:39 ::characters which I guess makes sense 12:40 ::which base carry yeah yeah really bones 12:42 ::but more cartilage just amazed every 12:44 ::they're smarter now yeah similarly cats 12:47 ::but they're all because they're all 12:48 ::brain they're all brain and there's no 12:50 ::way for them to survive any sort of 12:52 ::animal attack whatsoever 12:54 ::so get out think them but the thing is 12:56 ::now with all right so let's say we have 12:59 ::many aliens which is true because that's 13:00 ::what we decide to do is all podcast it's 13:02 ::absolutely true that we met they are 13:03 ::perhaps uh I'll tell you that why they 13:06 ::keeping it a secret right number one 13:08 ::what is the possible I mean besides like 13:10 ::sort of mass panic but I don't know if 13:13 ::it's going away 13:14 ::yeah I mean it would shatter a lot of 13:16 ::religions and strengthen a whole series 13:18 ::of other ones I guess if we do confirm 13:20 ::aliens what Scientology would really 13:22 ::take off yeah I'd be big yeah but even 13:25 ::an alien I imagine would say would you 13:28 ::describe to them Scientology they'd be 13:30 ::like that's insane they're not really 13:33 ::that's not how the aliens work I'm sorry 13:35 ::I'm an alien 13:37 ::yeah that's true oh one of those Seth 13:38 ::Rogen aliens that's what we need to meet 13:40 ::some of those cool weed smoking funny 13:43 ::aliens absolutely that'll be fine then 13:45 ::well there's gotta be one alien out 13:47 ::there who's just the coolest little 13:48 ::alien around there's no one handsome he 13:50 ::wants to go to earth and like be a part 13:52 ::of Hollywood just walk rock and roll 13:54 ::music and he likes to dance he likes to 13:56 ::just go out there with kids and go to 13:57 ::concerts and stuff like that yeah I mean 13:59 ::they're a primitive must rock and roll 14:01 ::music sits out of these people they must 14:02 ::just be listen to random sounds I know 14:07 ::that's yours you know go back oh my gosh 14:10 ::look I got ya it's strange yeah we're 14:14 ::Chi Smith 14:15 ::yeah as they were building the pyramids 14:16 ::and as a maraca regarde Gaga or there's 14:23 ::another thing there's another theory 14:26 ::that what if aliens are future humans 14:29 ::well it's rose the guy I'm travelers 14:31 ::yeah future humans are past humans who 14:34 ::left us here and went away to do 14:37 ::whatever they had to do and then we were 14:38 ::able like in the evolutionary step maybe 14:40 ::we're just missing one more little 14:42 ::ingredient before us they were here they 14:45 ::had to be super smart they figure out a 14:46 ::way to get the hell out because he's 14:47 ::wildebeests and gorillas and cavemen 14:50 ::were eating their brains having sex with 14:52 ::their wives and you know stealing their 14:53 ::kids so they were like we're gonna zip 14:55 ::on out 14:56 ::yeah and they figured out a way to do 14:57 ::that left us here on earth and 5,000 15:00 ::years later we figured out fire yeah and 15:03 ::and now we're just coming to terms with 15:05 ::the idea that we're retarded and there's 15:06 ::a super race of humans out there who a 15:09 ::lien I just wonder I wonder if it's true 15:11 ::if aliens are here to manipulate our DNA 15:15 ::and slowly make us like them or maybe 15:17 ::and that's where they are we are all of 15:19 ::the same race they are all volume.i but 15:21 ::but the other thing was also believing 15:24 ::that all life is based on carbon which 15:26 ::is not necessarily 15:27 ::like life could also be based on 15:29 ::phosphorus yep phosphorus was the one 15:31 ::they just discovered yeah and then one 15:33 ::middle of Los Angeles so we know didnít 15:36 ::get discredited did they say that that 15:38 ::wasn't real 15:38 ::did it I hope it did worry was just some 15:41 ::sort of just dumb like Yahoo news picked 15:44 ::it up and was like alien found in LA and 15:46 ::there's like oh no I know no it was just 15:49 ::it was a thing we know about it's 15:50 ::fucking science we don't have the time 15:52 ::to possibly explain to Yahoo News that's 15:55 ::right new camera um and you're from of 15:58 ::course from the Texas and there's a lot 15:59 ::of sightings and stuff over there quite 16:01 ::regularly 16:02 ::oh yeah we're real bored and well that 16:06 ::was so I watched another documentary 16:08 ::Phoenix lights yes we talked about this 16:10 ::on the last podcast about Colts and that 16:12 ::was another very interesting thing to of 16:14 ::a mass sighting of 15,000 people calling 16:17 ::and seeing these lights over Phoenix 16:18 ::again it's just another sort of wide 16:21 ::open space place like Arizona in Texas 16:24 ::where it seems like the aliens know that 16:26 ::if you put a message in this form of sky 16:28 ::that a lot of people are going to see it 16:31 ::because there's just so much of it like 16:33 ::that's why you know I imagine that's why 16:36 ::there's not a lot of UFO presence like 16:38 ::in New York where it would be it'd be 16:42 ::kind of difficult I don't look up well 16:43 ::there was one there was something that 16:45 ::happened in New York not too long ago I 16:47 ::think it was last November yeah that's 16:49 ::right now the triangle lives in this you 16:51 ::love these triangle lights coming out 16:53 ::now that's what the one and cozinha 16:55 ::jewel was the government officially said 16:57 ::there's an 810 Warthog aircraft yeah but 17:00 ::then they said they watched it slowly 17:03 ::pan across the sky you watch the videos 17:05 ::in the documentary of the sighting five 17:08 ::yellow lights it's ludicrous it's not a 17:10 ::fucking airplane it's not one it's not 17:13 ::making a noise in a vision if it's an 17:16 ::airplane and it's that fucking huge it's 17:19 ::a size of football field yeah and it's 17:21 ::just slowly inching across the sky 17:24 ::and it's like airplanes will move like 17:26 ::that I don't know maybe the aliens and 17:28 ::the government have some sort of deal 17:30 ::going on that we don't know about that 17:32 ::but don't you think that they would have 17:34 ::to then have deals with Russia and with 17:37 ::China and like because how can us be the 17:40 ::only people to 17:41 ::have a deal with you I mean it sounds to 17:43 ::me like these aliens are just Chinese 17:46 ::you're just saying that because they're 17:48 ::slanty eyes 17:49 ::well you just see anything is they've 17:51 ::got the biggest eyes around it's true 17:53 ::they're mostly I mean yeah yeah I mean I 17:55 ::don't know what would be the point of 17:56 ::having the deal with the aliens I guess 17:58 ::you know Asus terribie number one the 18:01 ::complete uh shattering of all religions 18:03 ::and God knows what people would start 18:05 ::doing if they found out that aliens 18:07 ::actually exist yeah I mean people like 18:08 ::me I just I just give up I shouldn't do 18:10 ::anything anymore I'll be done I just go 18:13 ::work go to where the aliens were and 18:14 ::hang out with the aliens yeah I wonder 18:16 ::how fun they are though I mean not like 18:18 ::a culture of brainiacs you know that 18:20 ::yeah they're nerds super nerdy you know 18:23 ::and maybe that's why they haven't 18:25 ::attacked us yet because we're 18:26 ::Neanderthals and they're petrified that 18:29 ::we're just gonna come after them with 18:30 ::sticks and stones and bazookas and 18:32 ::nuclear weapons and maybe they're not 18:35 ::very good with the weapon weapon 18:36 ::technology is true or you like we'd say 18:38 ::what dan Aykroyd 18:40 ::I believe and which is true like Dan 18:43 ::Aykroyd has his documentary unplugged on 18:45 ::UFOs which is him uh restiess tune is on 18:48 ::yeah he sings penalty it's really nice 18:50 ::to do just that he does he is that guy 18:52 ::in the back playing drums with it with 18:55 ::it brushes yeah you know I mean not even 18:57 ::playing full drums is she so sweets like 18:59 ::what I like full drums here's what 19:01 ::happened Rahm did LexA do um but no then 19:06 ::he talks then he does a couple hour set 19:08 ::just talking rambles about you will 19:11 ::tells a story about how you woke up and 19:13 ::he was awoken by these UFOs right in his 19:16 ::home in Los Angeles this is - that's the 19:18 ::only problem 19:19 ::I love dan Aykroyd I trust dan Aykroyd 19:22 ::implicitly he's a fucking Ghostbuster 19:25 ::yes that one of the best people on the 19:28 ::face of the planet as far as I'm 19:29 ::concerned that UFOs story of him being 19:32 ::in bed he was in bed and then heard in 19:34 ::his head come outside and then didn't go 19:37 ::outside then he was like I'm not going 19:38 ::outside and then didn't go outside but 19:40 ::then he's like but then I heard other 19:42 ::people say they saw UFO yeah that's a 19:45 ::little true US was a sluggers dream but 19:49 ::yeah Dana heard also believes that the 19:51 ::CIA shut down his sci-fi Network show 19:53 ::because he was releasing too much truth 19:55 ::yeah you know I think between him and 19:57 ::Jesse Ventura is really believes there's 19:59 ::just like my truth too hard man 20:01 ::everybody just know I'm just dropping 20:03 ::bombs at knowledge and everybody the CIA 20:05 ::is coming in here to shut me down it's 20:06 ::like you did three episodes of a show on 20:10 ::sci-fi channel a terrible show for us 20:12 ::yeah you know like the five dudes 20:16 300-plus pounds oh really 20:19 ::the man's not getting any thinner it out 20:21 ::or short I did say in the whole thing to 20:22 ::document him just fucking chain-smoking 20:24 ::it yeah easing no I mean you know you 20:27 ::kind of want to have a conversation with 20:28 ::him about it but then at the same time 20:29 ::it'd be so damn intense so frightening I 20:32 ::never wanted to try and prove him wrong 20:34 ::cuz I love that he thinks that he's 20:36 ::right I love I love how passionate he is 20:39 ::and I wish I could feel that way about a 20:42 ::single thing in my life 20:44 ::you know well I mean you're just gonna 20:45 ::have one of those sightings you had a 20:48 ::sighting in a cemetery didn't you yeah 20:50 ::whenever I was in high school so I was 20:52 ::staring up at the the stars like held 20:55 ::way up you know you get out in the 20:57 ::middle of nowhere and just the stars 20:58 ::just everywhere you can see the fucking 21:00 ::Milky Way I was just staring at this one 21:02 ::spot there was like this blinking light 21:04 ::like wait wait wait for out there and it 21:07 ::was blinking I was just in there staring 21:09 ::at it and then it just like flew across 21:12 ::the sky like in an instant just I mean I 21:15 ::mean I realized I fell off a gravestone 21:17 ::no and then a skeleton came by and said 21:22 ::boo boo boo all day but you saw an alien 21:26 ::my friend and you are very lucky you 21:29 ::didn't get abducted I would love to be 21:30 ::abducted it seems to me like it's never 21:32 ::that bad they always make such a big 21:34 ::deal out of it when they come back to 21:35 ::earth first of all they always bring 21:37 ::these retards back to earth they should 21:38 ::just keep them forever I don't believe 21:41 ::that 21:41 ::I don't think of ducting is real I think 21:43 ::I've ever known that is the one thing 21:44 ::that I'm just I'm not convinced on I 21:47 ::mean I kind of understand the idea that 21:50 ::like alien scientists are trying to 21:53 ::experiment us on us and try to clear it 21:55 ::out but I don't think it would work like 21:57 ::that I don't think there's gonna pick up 21:59 ::random people fucking look in their butt 22:01 ::holes and then drop well I I mean unless 22:04 ::they're they were all proctologists in 22:06 ::their former life and they just they 22:08 ::care about cancer yeah and how it's 22:10 ::affecting humans yeah you know maybe 22:12 ::that's the reason they're out there 22:14 ::trying to protect our tissue trying to 22:16 ::help us quit smoking absolutely yeah you 22:18 ::wanted anyway Edward they're really 22:19 ::gonna go after Aykroyd yeah they had a 22:22 ::whole Health Department the UFO world 22:24 ::and they see these human smoke in there 22:26 ::did they're devastated saddens them yeah 22:29 ::like the Native American after seeing 22:30 ::somebody litter eat one huge giant tear 22:33 ::graphic are you really here though not a 22:36 ::kak Glico Limon Co II feel sadness with 22:40 ::what you would call sadness what aliens 22:42 ::called 22:42 ::nothing that they don't really feel the 22:44 ::things that you feel that's true so you 22:46 ::think most of these abductions are just 22:47 ::hallucination story I think they're all 22:49 ::great memories closed up yeah I think 22:52 ::there are we there do mention there the 22:54 ::the alien looked a lot like their step 22:56 ::yeah 22:58 ::I mean what do you think would happen if 23:00 ::if we find out the UFOs are here I mean 23:03 ::I would assume there'd be about 20% of 23:04 ::the world's population that would just 23:06 ::kill themselves immediately I guess no 23:08 ::Jo your get insane I really I really 23:11 ::don't see what the big deal is about 23:12 ::like a what the public outcry and the 23:14 ::public reaction would be I really don't 23:16 ::think it would be that bad at all I cuz 23:18 ::I think that we're already there were 23:20 ::already conditioning groomed to accept 23:23 ::weird alien ships I got a conscience 23:25 ::with it there's a bunch of who has out 23:27 ::there though with shotguns already 23:29 ::loaded up and just they they you know 23:31 ::itched in the woods UFO killer on it a 23:34 ::shot good got bones in there they're 23:36 ::special for the UFOs you it is a way in 23:38 ::which in super-g bowman device bullets 23:40 ::yes daily don't touch that one when you 23:42 ::kill the deer touch the other one that's 23:44 ::the deer killer that's a picture of the 23:46 ::deer I um I mean if I was an alien I 23:49 ::would just be petrified to land in the 23:50 ::middle of the Texas that's why it's so 23:51 ::ironic every was like oh they always go 23:52 ::to these Bumble to places where you know 23:54 ::nobody exists but it's like I know 23:56 ::there's no galactic diplomats yeah yeah 24:00 ::Bumba do Texas right exactly 24:03 ::Oh way we'll saw whoa and then like 24:05 ::there's no reason why they would just 24:06 ::shoot no soft jellyfish hell yeah 24:08 ::absolutely BJ I said it in the face 24:10 ::first reaction is shoot to it like 24:13 ::something that you don't think I get 24:14 ::well because that's I mean there are so 24:16 ::many other things out there that can 24:17 ::kill you yeah so you like you see it's 24:20 ::like I don't know what that is I'm gonna 24:21 ::go 24:21 ::kill it before it kills me I don't know 24:23 ::if it's gonna kill me I don't even know 24:24 ::if it's gonna try but you know what it's 24:25 ::not gonna get the chance the other thing 24:28 ::is to get robbed laser cutter talks 24:31 ::touches upon this when he was being 24:33 ::interviewed he was talking about there 24:34 ::is a sort of even publicly written about 24:39 ::plan for dealing with alien life in the 24:41 ::government so yeah before they went to 24:43 ::the moon one big one they set up the 24:46 ::Apollo missions 24:47 ::the CIA and everyone had to sit down 24:49 ::talking about let's say we go to the 24:51 ::moon and there are people up there what 24:53 ::do we do 24:54 ::and the think-tank came up with this 24:56 ::sort of like loose plan of it's like a 24:58 ::thirty year long plan of disinformation 25:00 ::where you start off sort of you you shut 25:03 ::down all knowledge of UFO sightings call 25:07 ::everyone who's everyone who believes in 25:08 ::it crazy you know like destroy the 25:10 ::reputations do all this stuff 25:12 ::slowly let more and more information 25:14 ::leak out which is happening in the form 25:16 ::of like WikiLeaks right and like these 25:17 ::various places world it's classified UFO 25:19 ::documents are cutting out and basically 25:21 ::get the population used to the idea and 25:24 ::pretty much being like oh there's UFOs 25:26 ::but the government's covering it up I 25:28 ::mean they put your toe in the water 25:29 ::technique it's very smart a government 25:31 ::plan especially in the 60s oh yeah when 25:33 ::we went to the moon people were so 25:34 ::hopped up on God knows what yeah they 25:37 ::would have found an aliens were up there 25:38 ::Oh communist I mean how do we even know 25:42 ::does anybody ever ask how do we even 25:44 ::know what aliens look like or why do we 25:46 ::think they look the way that they look 25:47 ::because it's just what people say and 25:50 ::sort of I mean abductee reports people 25:52 ::saying of what happened at Roswell and 25:55 ::then yeah and you know what you're 25:56 ::talking about earlier the aliens 25:58 ::throughout the years like you see the 25:59 ::little drawing you see the little gray 26:02 ::men come up here and there it's all in 26:04 ::like Egyptian hieroglyphics it's like 26:06 ::it's really really interesting because 26:08 ::they call them angels and they work 26:10 ::there are a lot of these things that 26:12 ::came down and they sort of like weave it 26:14 ::into like sort of folklore about you 26:17 ::know these gods that came down and 26:18 ::helped us with this is God came down 26:20 ::like taught us how didn't like irrigate 26:23 ::this river and it was and they draw it 26:25 ::and it is a large eyed creature that is 26:28 ::not human nature and they say it came 26:31 ::from a thing from the sky and then you 26:32 ::had 26:33 ::and it happens in every goddamn religion 26:36 ::in every single society it happens like 26:39 ::a creationist myth 26:40 ::yeah yeah they all have it they all have 26:42 ::it need but it's like why do you need to 26:44 ::come from like who planted the first 26:46 ::seed was just the like the smartest but 26:48 ::like ugliest human being ever maybe 26:50 ::nobody no wandering through the desert a 26:52 ::big bug eyes 26:54 ::they're like helos like an alien and 26:56 ::then forever we just I mean because what 26:58 ::was your guy who loved Mad Magazine 27:00 ::caricature of that person were I wrong 27:02 ::on the cave wall yeah like the cover of 27:04 ::the week or something like that great if 27:07 ::the earth was just a huge wildlife 27:08 ::preserve for aliens and the ones that 27:11 ::come they're just tourists they come to 27:12 ::look at it they come in I would just say 27:14 ::funny that would be amazing if they like 27:16 ::helped us along and they just came to 27:18 ::check up on us every once in a while 27:19 ::they feel stuck in a zoo a lot of times 27:21 ::in life who fucking knows so maybe 27:23 ::that's what it is maybe that's how 27:25 ::intelligent life is sort of farmed 27:27 ::around the universe where it's like they 27:29 ::go to it like habitable planets and then 27:33 ::they they propagate it with like they 27:36 ::either like change the environment and 27:38 ::like allow DNA to construct itself and 27:41 ::like make various creatures that grow 27:43 ::into humans and then like once human 27:45 ::being comes up they fuck with our brains 27:47 ::and like be like well one generation at 27:49 ::a time making a smarter and like it like 27:51 ::working out tools and now that word is 27:54 ::dumber and now we're just talking about 27:55 ::the Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy yes 27:57 ::yeah that's where we've come back around 28:01 ::yeah I mean you know honestly I don't 28:03 ::know too much about aliens which I think 28:04 ::has been exposed uh in this podcast but 28:08 ::I seem to know a lot you know I've done 28:10 ::I just I don't know what happened 28:12 ::because it's fascinating it's you that I 28:14 ::Rea just got into my brain I read a lot 28:16 ::of sci-fi yeah I'm just fascinated I'm 28:21 ::also looking for any sort of excuse to 28:23 ::abandon this life and go John the aliens 28:24 ::if they just could just fucking take me 28:26 ::yeah get me off of this goddamn spinning 28:29 ::Rock aliens yeah absolutely 28:31 ::you don't think I'd see the truth in 28:33 ::your eyes I want to be a jester for them 28:35 ::I want you to chain me up and make 28:37 ::jornal chortle chortle chortle tried by 28:39 ::REI they're like we like it yeah this is 28:42 ::amazing they cannot rate but this one 28:44 ::you 28:45 ::as or the rapey republic yeah they could 28:48 ::break me the most you never know what 28:49 ::they're gonna be laughing at anything 28:50 ::what is there Larsen together what 28:52 ::scientists laugh at not weird sick stuff 28:55 ::yeah they just play with it just like 28:56 ::poke their penis with like a a bobby pin 28:59 ::yeah pokin the tip of their penis go ha 29:02 ::ha ha that's funny uh no letters because 29:05 ::of you know some sort of genetic reason 29:07 ::I don't know I mean I would love to be 29:10 ::adopted abducted though just to have 29:12 ::some evidence I've never seen an alien I 29:13 ::would definitely want to I've never seen 29:16 ::a UFO either you know they just gotta be 29:18 ::they gotta be around there were those 29:20 ::seven lights or 15 balloons is what they 29:23 ::call them over in New York City recently 29:25 ::yeah and I did get a grab a glimpse of 29:27 ::those because you love looking at 29:29 ::balloons I just looking burns all the 29:31 ::time 29:31 ::yeah man the thing is they said they 29:34 ::were balloons but they're so high in the 29:35 ::sky that I think as a balloon would've 29:37 ::been impossible to see but if you're an 29:39 ::alien culture I mean New York City this 29:41 ::is the place it's gonna get it first is 29:42 ::the place you just blow up right away 29:44 ::yeah I mean the buildings it just looks 29:47 ::beautiful to be devastated the it just 29:50 ::seems like that that's the only thing to 29:52 ::where it's like I just feel like we 29:54 ::either know if we could know if we could 29:57 ::know they would just like walk in front 29:59 ::of us and just tell us one day I don't 30:01 ::know why it's such a weird secret I 30:03 ::don't know why like if they're visiting 30:05 ::us like why they know it has to be a 30:07 ::secret like that doesn't really make a 30:09 ::whole lot of sense because you imagine 30:11 ::aliens would kind of show up with a big 30:12 ::grand parade being like hey everybody 30:14 ::don't shoot us or or that they're sort 30:17 ::of stuff like like the concept of 30:20 ::singularity right we're like artificial 30:22 ::intelligence will eventually become as 30:24 ::smart as right like our intelligence and 30:27 ::the idea that then you can propagate 30:29 ::yourself and sort of we were there 30:30 ::artificial intelligence to begin with 30:32 ::they made us to help them out and then 30:34 ::all of a sudden we just started jacking 30:35 ::off at 13 that we can't do we're left to 30:40 ::our own devices or what if aliens are a 30:42 ::bunch of nano machines what if their 30:43 ::bodies are made out of microscopic 30:45 ::machines and we wouldn't even know we 30:47 ::could be bombarded with sort of 30:48 ::different foreign life that showed from 30:50 ::a Wade like us like way way way in the 30:53 ::future which would probably be we're all 30:55 ::just cloud matter of 30:57 ::nanomachines enchantress uh poke 31:00 ::yourself I'll smoke you Henry please I 31:03 ::love to do it get you so high you know 31:05 ::Thalian scam i really hope i really hope 31:07 ::that it's gonna be the riffraff like 31:08 ::just the riffraff that the alien work 31:11 ::kind of feel like wants come but like 31:13 ::scummy a little bit but still still 31:15 ::pretty nice but just a little bit scummy 31:17 ::you know like John Carpenter's escape 31:19 ::from LA well they just they're all snake 31:21 ::and iasis but I will say if aliens do 31:27 ::come world peace is a possibility we 31:28 ::would all unite against the Kaname a 31:30 ::common enemy of Millions yeah would you 31:33 ::be pretty amazing I guess our religions 31:34 ::won't seem so powerful once we realize 31:36 ::that our ideas have not meant anything 31:37 ::although Jesus was a god diem alien well 31:40 ::but if Jesus was an alien and Buddha was 31:42 ::an alien and Gandhi was an alien John 31:44 ::Lennon was an alien oh my god what of 31:46 ::all those people were that we really I 31:48 ::think the alien to be pretty pissed off 31:49 ::that we killed all of their bodies 31:50 ::that's men in black talk yeah as men in 31:52 ::black well I'll tell you we're gonna get 31:54 ::back to this subject at a later date I'm 31:56 ::gonna do a little bit more research 31:57 ::that's fine and I had a lot I felt like 32:00 ::I was talking a lot of facts you did 32:02 ::talk a lot of facts and we love you 32:04 ::aliens so come back contact us please 32:06 ::come get us 32:06 ::you hate this group choose us the choose 32:10 ::us it's the last podcast on the left 32:11 ::Marcus Parks I'm having a pretty good 32:13 ::time here on earth I don't know about 32:14 ::you guys I'm fine 32:15 ::I can either fuck out of here yeah 32:18 ::what's up that spice go for Henry 32:22 ::Zebrowski I'm Benji so we will scare you 32:24 ::next week 32:26 ::Music